FYI

This Is Bullshit {NDC HG}

itsfidgetyoufuck:

Fidget didn’t even know what day it was, or why this crazy shit had happened but he already looked like he had escaped a horror movie. When he first woke up he thought it was all some joke, but then when he saw other people killing each other and the wasteland that he once called his new home he knew something was wrong.  Silently sneaking through the hospital, he knew it might not be his best idea… but he needed bandages an so far he found nothing on the first floor. He tried another door, an to his surprise it opened and he nearly fell over when he saw bandages an even some boxes of his favorite cracker. Quickly stepping inside and shutting the door he dropped down an took off his shirt to bandage the wound he had received earlier. ” Fu..fuck ow that hurt, good god this is bullshit i swear.  I.. ” He stopped as he heard a sound outside in the hallway an he ducked behind a chair , peaking his head out with his gun ready he watched slowly as the door opened.

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The days since Jack’s death passed in a slow stampede of blood and isolation. Even though Meg’s group seemed to grow daily, the idea of sitting with them seemed too much to consider. Rather than staying in doors, Meg spent most of her time wandering around the campus and town, killing when she needed to, playing god with others and letting them live. It wasn’t even a power rush for the tall brunette. It was simply something that she could do to distract herself. Her ventured brought her finally to the hospital, where she hoped to scrape together some bits of supplies. Two of her daggers rested in their holders against her thigh, and two were held lightly in her hands, spinning aimlessly as she searched through the first floor and moved to the second, entering one room and then another. “Cleaned out,” she mumbled, about to sheath her knives when she saw the remains of bandage packages, smears of blood on them that ran like they were fresh. Her daggers raised and she blew her hair out of her face. “Come out, come out, wherever you are…” 

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Charlotte Sometimes / How I Could Just Kill A Man

Anonymous asked: You don't seem very broken up about Jack dying, considering he cried for you the entire night and you weren't even dead.
Jack and I are two very different people who deal with emotions in two very different ways. Why should I mope about him? So I can die? Try again.
ooc: read her Drabble cupcake.

Family Dynamics // NDC hg // Meg and Pain

You need to go, Meg. You’ve got to get out of here and do something useful!

Meg groaned, her head aching from the noise that rattled her brain. Ever sense Jack’s death and Jamie’s joining, the voices in Meg’s head at been at war. The usual ones, sassy and loud had been at their own argument, warring with Jamie about what she needed to be doing. One side begged her to stay in, to huddle up with Flora and Jim and hide out, a flurry of voices that Meg had grown used to over the years. The other though, the new voice that was sweet and high, claimed that she needed food, supplies, and Jim and Flora had been no help in that zone. It’d been an argument for going in an hour and Meg had had about enough. “Shut up,” she gasped out, standing up and running a hand through her knotted hair, flinching at the tug. Despite her lack of motivation, Meg knew Jamie was right. She needed to take care of the others and she needed to survive and the only way to do that was if she ventured. With a heavy sigh and I glance over her shoulder, Meg left the safe comforts of their hideaway and ventured outside.

Night had sunken around the college town, leaving the world a nightmare of shadows, but Meg really didn’t feel afraid. Her hand rested on the handle of her dagger, casually playing with it as she moved through the bloodied streets and a confidence bubbled inside of her. Jamie never stopped talking, giggling in the back of her mind, but each passing moment made her a bit more immune to it. Part of her even enjoyed his company. In some way it was like having Jack there with her, and the thought of that made her feel safer. Warmer. She looked up at the moon, a shape somewhat like a toenail over her head, and started to smile when a snapping branch behind her ripped her from her security. Before the person could get any closer, Meg turned sharply, one of her knives in a white knuckle grip, held and towards her potential attacker. Kick his ass! For Jack! Jamie whispered before fading to silence. Meg just gritted her teeth. “Come out and play,” she growled, her hand holding the dagger gesturing the person in the shadows out.

I was falling for a girl who would ask me to come over
Just for a day, when her parents were away,
Now all I can do is lay in my room,
Fall asleep, dream of you,
Then wake up and do nothing about it


I fell for a boy who could never ever let me walk home that way,
‘Cause you gotta be safe,
So hold back your views,
We’re both leaving soon,
I can’t fall back on you,
‘Cause that’s not what I do.

Jackson Overland Frost

Moodboard ; Megara 

"sometimes being a bitch is all a woman’s got to hold on to"
~ stephen king

Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count. —Heathers 

Ice and Fire // NDC HG

His face was a permanent part of Meg’s mind. His face. A face that elicited in her both pain and love. A face that magically seemed to heal every would while causing every scar. His face was all she could see.

Ever sense that meeting with Lilo, Meg had a hard time dealing. She’d become overly harsh, burning her way through the city and college recklessly, having little care for who saw her and who tried to attack her. If she was honest, she lived for the ones that did. Each time someone came out her, lust and fury radiating from them, Meg felt just the slightest bit better. Fighting them off, killing them quickly, or slowly for the ones that showed worser intentions, it became her distraction; her way of forgetting just how badly broken she truly was. Her body count rose higher and higher, her methods of killing become more and more twisted, as something inside of her gave way to the villain she always knew she was. Meg from London was no one to mess with. Meg from London would kill you faster than you could blink.

But now, at this current moment, Meg did nothing but picture his face and imagine that moment. She sat on the beach, far from the city, and watched the water, barely even seeing it as the waves toppled each other in their own fight for survival. This had been the spot. If she tried hard enough, Meg could just picture Jack running, his long legs effortlessly pounding through the damped the sand. She remembered the way he’d sunken himself into the sea, the way she’d rushed out to him, saving him only to need to be saved herself. A small smirk appeared on Meg’s lips at the memory. Wasn’t that their way? Always rushing to the rescue of the other, never realizing how much worse they’d make things for themselves. She’d run from him that day. Ran down the beach, her own thin legs powering her forward, until he caught her, symbolically and literally, wrapping cool arms around her, keeping her same from everything in the world. Except herself. No one could do that.

Meg focused back on her reality: the world of blood and screams that permeated from the very walls of New Disney. This was what she’d become. A killer. A heartbroken killer who’d debated ending the life of the only person she truly loved.

The swelling tide moved ever closer, and Meg simply ignored it. She stared out at the stars, the moon, and just waited. One of her daggers rested in her hand, effortlessly drawing small patterns in the sand. A heart. An infinity. Each one erased and neglected as much as her own heart. Her own forever.

It shouldn’t be much longer now… 

She glanced down at her patterns in the sand, her skin burning as she tried to quell the sadness that threatened to over take her. Then something weird happened. A chill passed over Meg’s skin. A cool caress that seemed to hold her for the briefest moment, then dissipated, leaving a hole in her heart that felt like everything inside of her had been ripped away. Even the fire that had been keeping her going was suddenly gone, leaving Meg feeling empty, like, like - “No…” 

The canons went off, signaling the start of the parade of faces across the sky, and Meg was on her feet. Her dagger lay forgotten in the sand, the small waves lapping at her ankles, but she could only watch in horror as those she killed flashed, one by one. She waited and waited, flinching as she realized just how many she had killed in that day alone. And then she saw it. The face. The face that she’d been trying so hard to forget. Perfectly teased white blonde hair, hair she’d teased about being unnatural. Eyes so blue she couldn’t help but think of the shoreline back home. Eyes that had saved her life, Lilo’s life, countless lives. Fingers poised on his lips. Lips that had touched her, tasted her, kissed her so fervently. His face faded from the sky, replaced by another, but nothing could shake the image from Meg’s mind. 

She sank to her knees, frozen and for the first time since this started, plagued with guilt. Jack was dead. Gone… Jack Frost was truly gone and there was no one to blame but herself. She thought about the way he’d pushed her, baited her into killing him, and the way she’d ran away. If she had just stopped… If she had just taken him with her like she knew he wanted, he’d still be alive! “I could have protected you,” she whispered, a numbness replacing the cold inside of her. That fire that had motivated her for so long seemed to be truly gone as the person who set is ablaze was gone. 

The voices in her head sat in a stunned silence, just as Meg sat in the tide, her fingers gripping into the sand, completely unable to feel. Part of her knew she needed to leave, to get back to the group, that the worst types of people hunted after the canons, hoping to have the first face on the next night’s show. She knew because she was one of them. 

"Win this for me?" 

Flora’s words appeared in her head, pushed there by the voices who suddenly knew it was time to go. Meg had promised. She’d sworn to live for Flora, for the only friend she had left and that promise forced her to her feet. She couldn’t feel her body as it started to move forward, could barely feel her hand clutching the dagger she’d dropped. All she could focus on was getting where she needed to be. With Jack gone everything felt pointless. She needed a new goal. She needed something to motivate her once more. She paused in her shamble of a walk, letting her eyes drift up to the moon where she knew Jamie was always whispered to be. “What do I fight for?” she whispered. 

For Jack. 

It was a new voice this time, one she’d never heard. A masculine voice that teased her as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, because in essence, it was. She’d come into these games, killing because of Jack. But now, now that he was gone, she had a new reason. She’d win the game. She’d win the game and keep her group alive for as long as she could. She’d protect them like she never could protect him. She’d win the games alright, and she’d win them for Jack. 

That a girl, the voice giggled. Meg only rolled her eyes. Shut up, Jamie. And then she moved, her leg’s carrying her quickly, confidently, through the streets and back to the group that was the only thing she had left. 

A Cold Meal // NDC HG // Meg and Lilo and Jack

snow-wherever-you-go:

 

Jack’s heart sunk more with every word she said. Nothing, no, nothing at all could possibly have hurt more than this. Not seeing friends on the big screen, showing nothing but a single photo, indicating their death as if it meant nothing, not Dean finding out about him and the bitter taste it had left in his mouth when he left…not even seeing Celia’s corpse lying in the middle of street and closing her eyes for the last time. The girl he’d grown to love, though the word ‘love’ seemed like such an understatement at this moment, Megara Callis, smearing her blood on his white shirt along with the other stains the dirt off the road had left and telling him she was willing to kill, wipe away someone’s existence, like it was no big deal, like killing someone was suddenly normal. He reckoned it had to be. In this game, as absurd as it seemed to him, taking another person’s life was not murder. Not something that was punished. Just a way of keeping alive, like eating, sleeping or breathing. A necessity.

Jack felt numb all of a sudden, turning around, ignoring the blade that still rested against his chest. For some reason it didn’t scare him anymore. He looked at Lilo as she spoke, willing to die for the bittersweet mistake they’d made. It hadn’t mattered to him. Sex was a way of entertainment. It was truly always the person he cared about, not the act. Sex didn’t change anything, didn’t change how he felt about Meg, nor how he felt about Lilo.

Lilo was preparing for death and Jack suddenly realized he was crying. He turned back to Meg who still hadn’t moved and took her hand, one last time, moving it to his lip and pressing a kiss to the cut on her hand. Tears rolled down his cheeks, wiping away some of the blood Meg’s hand had left on his lips as he opened his mouth and spoke with an alluring calmness: “Kill me then.” He reached out, taking her other hand and pressing her knife to his throat in earnest. He wasn’t doing this to torture or manipulate her. He was serious, utterly serious in this moment, the blade digging into his skin slightly as he breathed in. It didn’t hurt so bad. He could do this. For her, he could do this.

"Lilo’s my friend, has been for a long time, will be until I die." He said, believing this to occur in a matter of weeks, feeling a drop of blood running down from where the dagger pierced his skin. "But you? You’re my everything. You’re all I think about, whatever I’m doing, whoever I’m with. If anyone causes you pain, I feel like I want to kill them. So kill me. I’m the problem, Megara, you know the pain will never stop until you’ve done it, you know I’ll keep fucking up, hurting you, you know it. You said it yourself, we.." He swallowed, gripping her hand tighter and pressing the blade harder into his throat. "We’ve never been happy with each other, right?" Tears were flowing freely now, his heart aching to the point where he was actually grateful it wouldn’t be beating in a few minutes. "I love you. So kill me. Cause I’d rather die than be the reason you’re losing yourself. The reason you’re hurt. I’d rather die than be the cause of your heartbreak."

Meg scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Team mates? Did you sleep with them two?” she growled,  and was about to continue when’s Jack’s sudden motions made her stop, catching her completely off guard. Dark eyes widened slightly, and she stood rigid, unable to breathe, let alone move. She simply watched as Jack took her bloodied hand, pulling it to her lips. Don’t do that, you’ll get blood on you… she found herself thinking. The thought was like a blade in her gut. For the first time it wasn’t the voices talking and that felt like the biggest betrayal she’d ever felt. She blinked slowly, trying to clear the emotions building inside of herself. The way he was looking at her, the tears streaming down his face… She couldn’t do. 

"I could never find anyone like you…you’re one of a kind…there’s no one else…nothing compares…" 

His words jumped back to her. Words from what seemed like ages again. The night she’d drunken herself into a stupor. Cut herself. Called Jack. She’d been half asleep when he said them and it was a wonder she remembered them at all, but now she did. Now she couldn’t get them out of her head as Jack lifted the hand the clutched her dagger and pressed the silver edge against his throat. For a moment, just a single moment of shock, Meg couldn’t help but notice how pale he was. The white of his skin reflected off of the blade and fascinated her. But the moment passed and though her jaw slackened, her eyes narrowed. He’d said the words, given her the permission to end all of the pain she’d been feeling and part of her, even if it was just the smallest part, considered taking him up on it. Her hand tightened on the handle of the blade, Jack’s hand cold against her own. The urge to push it deeper, was stronger and weaker than anything she’d ever felt. It was worse than the voices. It was her body fighting against herself, begging her to end it and begging her to stop. Then he spoke again. Then the drop of blood ran down his neck. Then Meg broke. 

Tears slipped from her eyes before she could stop them and she ripped her hand from his, the knife cutting him just slightly in the action, but nothing more than a flesh wound. “Shut up!” she growled, pointing the knife at him and shaking her head quickly. Over and over she shook her head, her hair moving around her face. “Shut up and get the fuck away from me!” She back up, forcing herself to breathe as her heart slammed in her lungs. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t kill him. It didn’t matter what he did or who he did, she loved him. It was the worst curse she could imagine, but it was her curse. She stared at Jack, not really seeing him, only able to see her memories of him. How he’d taken care of her. The aspirin, the whiskey on her cuts, the blanket that had been so sweetly tucked around her. She blinked and met his eyes, seeing the tears that matched her own and she hated herself for it. 

“Damn it, Jack! No! You made your bed! Lay in it! - If you don’t protect her, Jack, I’ll be back. Do you understand? You have to pick and we all know how important your friends are to you…” Then she turned on her heels, moving away from where Jack and Lilo stood and running, taking turn after turn until finally she was lost, and collapsed to her knees, the blade tight in her hand and her body shaking as tears overcame her. She couldn’t see him again. Not here. Not like this. She sobbed alone in the alley, wishing for everything to stop hurting and prayed she wouldn’t have to see Jack again.